Love me a frickin’ hot dog from Woolworth Walk
It’s one of my favorite “trashy treats” of downtown livin’
I had some time to kill before the Mac ‘n’ Cheese Challenge, so I ate a Hot Dog
Yeah, no, true story. Fuckin’ ate a hot dog. Like, hoovered it. I was on my way to work the 2019 Asheville Mac ‘n’ Cheese Challenge, where I was planning to, and did, eat a SHIT TON of mac ‘n’ cheese, when I suddenly decided that I had just enough time and space to pop into the good ol’ Woolworth Walk, belly-up to the counter, and power down a hot dog. And a pickle. I did save those chips for later, but I sure as shit crushed that Cheerwine.
Fahhhhhhk me if I don’t love some Cheerwine!
I’m from up North. A horrid barren land where there is no cheer, let alone Cheerwine. Here in Asheville, you can get your Cheerwine vitamins through a variety of baked bean and barbecue sauce recipes, as well as pie, or straight outta the bottle. I don’t always drink soda pop, but when I do It’s fuckin’ Cheerwine. Good shit.
Photo by Stu Helm
Anyhoo, I was really talkin’ about the hot dog wasn’t I? What do I like about this dog? Everything! I like that fact that you order and pay at the register, and then have a seat. I like sitting at the counter. I like the fact that you can see your hot dog being butterflied and grilled before your very eyes. I like that trashy white bun. I like that it all comes in a basket, with red and white checkered paper, and that the dog itself is nestled within its very own dog doily. I like the pickle and I like those chips. I even like the excessive condiment treatment, about two-thirds of which I always scrape off the hot dog, using the pickle spear as a primitive tool, and then I have a wonderful “dip” for the rest of my chips. That’s called innovation, Baby, and it’s what separates us from the goddamn apes! Actually, I learned how to do that from watching some apes on Youtube use a stick to get ants from an ant hill or some shit. Apes are very cool.
Now, before all y’all hot dog purists go hatin’ on me for getting ketchup on my hot dog, please keep in mind that I would put fucking chocolate sauce on a hot dog if it tasted good. I am decidedly not a traditionalist when it comes to hot dogs. Seriously. I’ve had a hot dog with mayonnaise and pineapple on it that was the fucking bomb. Well, I should say that I made a hot dog with mayo and pineapples, and a lot of other crazy hot dog combos back when I did Punk Rock Hot Dogs at the long-gone Clingman Cafe. Remember those? I’m thinking about bringing them back for a one night pop-up. I’ll keep you posted.
Ah, nostalgia! Cooking and serving hot dogs to the public was… a huge fucking pain in my ass! Ha ha! But I also loved doing it! Yeah, man!
HOT DOG SEASON IS COMING.
(I just got super-excited.)
I highly recommend the dogs at Woolworth Walk! They are classic in every way. I’m gonna be trying as many hot dogs around town as I can, finding the best and most fun hot dogs in Asheville! I know that the brand new High Test Deli on Coxe Ave has a whole hot dog section on their menu, so I’ll be checking those out for sure. Okay, that’s enough outta me about this particular phallic food item for now, but stay tuned for more hot-dogginess as Summer approaches! WHOOOOOOOOOP!!!
“Woolworth-store-now-gallery featuring diverse works by 175 local artists & a restored soda fountain.”
Address: 25 Haywood St, Asheville, NC 28801
Phone: (828) 254-9234
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Stu Helm is an artist, writer, and podcaster living in Asheville, NC, and a frequent diner at local restaurants, cafes, food trucks, and the like. His tastes run from hot dogs and mac ‘n’ cheese, to haute cuisine, and his opinions are based on a lifetime of eating out. He began writing about food strictly to amuse his friends on Facebook.