WE HAVE A WIENNER!
Above: Chef Goff serves up his toilet dogs to the judges and their seconds..
Congrats to Chef Steven Goff fromAUX Bar and Brinehaus Meat + Provisions for his stellar performance and run-away win at the Punk Rock Hot Dog ~ Challenge at The Asheville Masonic Temple on Saturday July 13th, 2019!
His gg allin inspired “Toilet Dog” was visually stunning, tasted amazing, and was PUNK AS FUCK. It included green relish to represent vomit, chili to represent shit, corn relish because “sometimes there’s corn in shit,” the brightest red MUSTARD I have ever seen in my life to represent blood, pink pickle to represent “punk rock / prolapsed asshole,” a dyed yellow bun to make it look piss-soaked, and dyed red hot dogs to represent “bloody butthole.” Jesus fuck. That’s some punk shit right there.
Oh! And it also had silver leaf to represent beer cans, plus it reminded me of all the metal studs, chains, and other fashion paraphernalia of classic punk, which also made this dog look bad-ass and slightly dangerous.
Chef Goff tells me that the Toilet Dog will be on the menu starting on Tuesday july 16th, so head on down and get you one! Or six!
ALL THE DOGS!
Above: Pictures of all the dogs in the order they were presented to the judges during the Punk Rock Hot Dog ~ Challenge.
1. Chef James Andrew Wright from The Pickled Beet Catering Company‘s blink 182 inspired “Alien’s Exist” dog with Ramp Pesto Aioli, Collard Green Kimchi, Fried Mei Fun Noodles, popcorn, and gold spray. (People’s Choice Winner)
2. Chef Witt Pinkerton representing Tasty Beverage Company – Asheville with a Bad Religion inspired “American Jesus” dog with Pink Peppercorn roasted garlic mayo, Barrel aged hot honey mustard, Sweet and smoky meatloaf glaze, Heirloom pimento cheese, Sriracha yum yum slaw, Black bean chicken tiki masala chili, Togarashi Green onion, Sweet tea pickled green bean relish & Sweet potato pie hot sauce. (Second Place Winner)
3. Chef Steven Goff from AUX Bar‘s gg allin inspired “Toilet Dog” with corn relish, red mustard, chili, pink pickle and crispy onions. (First PLace Winner).
4. Chef Jaimie Wade from Sand Hill Kitchen‘s classic Cali-punk band X inspired “True Love” dog, with prickly pear mustard seed jam, ghost pepper cheese, lime cilantro crema, pork belly, crispy onions, lime wedge.
5. Chef Jay Medford of The Underground Café with DoughP Doughnuts‘s Shitdog’s inspired “Motha Fuckin Beans and Weenies Dog Up” dog with baked beans (and weenies), PBR beer cheese, candied jalapeños, and chili cheese Fritos. 6.
6. Chef Zack Neel’s Butthole Surfers inspired “Pepper” dog with Poblano, Serrano, and jalapeno chili peppers, cheddar cheese, sour cream, and frito lays. (3rd Place Winner)
Buns by Geraldine’s Bakery!
Thank You, Judges!
Thanks to Chief Justice Skinsburg and all the judges at The Punk Rock Hot Dog ~ Challenge! They were probably still full for days. At least three of them actually thought they were going to eat all six competing hot dogs, end to end, but that did not happen! Ha ha! For this contest, I introduced the idea of an eating partner, called a “second,” to cut down on food waste by helping the judges eat their dogs, and EVEN THEY couldn’t completely crush ’em all. Judging food contests ain’t no joke, Y’all. Those who do it are heroes. Titians. Gods. HA! I’ll always have openings on my judges panels for eaters, and pros alike, so stay tuned for your next opportunity to eat and judge things, just like Justice Skinsburg!
photo by Valerie Ehlinger
The Judges’ Panel, left to right, front to back…
• Jennie Townsend of Kickbackavl!
• Leslie Klingner aka Justice R.B. Skinsburg another Avid Eater, Bon Vivant, and a Punk Rock Enthusiast!
• Willy B. a Big-Time Eater, Food Fan, and Former Server!
• Chef Matt Grush, who is currently cooking at The Grey Eagle Taqueria!
• Vaughn Talbert, another Asheville Bon Vivant and “Hotdog Dumpster!”
Here are some more random pictures from the event…
Aaand… it wouldn’t be a punk show if the police didn’t show up… Thanks APD for arresting these hot dogs, and jailing them in your stomachs!
Big thanks to Stu Helm: Food Fan, Shay Brown Events, and the Asheville Masonic Temple. We appreciate you covering Patrol’s Saturday dinner with the leftovers from the Punk Rock Hotdog Challenge. – Asheville Police Department
This event was co-produced by
Stu Helm: Food Fan & Shay Brown Events
Thanks to my co-producer Shay Brown Events and all her very hard working employees!
With these events we are raising money for, and awareness of, the non-profit, historic theater restoration project including the preservation of the hand-painted backdrops at the Asheville Masonic Temple. 100% of the money raised will be donated directly toward the restoration and preservation of the theater. You can read more about the theatre here.
If you would like to arrange a tour of the theater and learn more about the backdrops, please contact Shay Brown Events at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks to all who participated, helped out, and / or attended!
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Stu Helm is an artist, writer, and podcaster living in Asheville, NC, and a frequent diner at local restaurants, cafes, food trucks, and the like. His tastes run from hot dogs and mac ‘n’ cheese, to haute cuisine, and his opinions are based on a lifetime of eating out. He began writing about food strictly to amuse his friends on Facebook.