La Vida Comida – Bees, Bears, Benches, and Beans.

Hello Asheville!

So… the other day I was sitting at home, “working,” when I realized, Oh fuck! It’s 1PM already! If I wanted to grab lunch at Buxton Hall, I’d have to leave immediately. They close at 3pm for two hours, and believe me, I have missed that boat often enough, that I give myself plenty of time to get there now. I was really really hungry, so I quickly tossed on some extra layers for the brisk, 15 minute walk, and on the way, I texted Good Friend Henco Billy…

“what r u doin?”

His answer came back right away, “eating lunch at buxton, big meeting.”

I responded, “I c u there.”

Sure enough, when I got there, the nice hostess seated me at one of those great little two-toppers along the wall, and when I glanced around, I saw Billy Henc’s sitting directly across the room, facing me. He smiled my way. I threw him the peace sign. A few mins later he texted me a picture of his food. “Chicken” he informed me. When my super-nice server came around, I ordered the special of the day, country fried steak, with two sides. I couldn’t wait to text Billy some pics of my grub!

In my head…

Boy am I hungry. Oooh, another text! What did Billy get for dessert?

Nope. It wasn’t Billy. It was Pablo.

“See you shortly after 2,” he said.

Oh.

Fuck.

I totally forgot about Pablo.

Pablo Gomez is co-owner with his wife of a sandwich delivery service called Fresh Lunch. He had contacted me a week prior and asked if he could bring me sandwiches, and tell me about his company. Are you kidding me? Food Fan Rule #15: Never say no to sandwiches. So we booked a day and a time, which happen to be a 1/2 hour from the moment after I ordered my country fried steak at Buxton Hall. Arg. Panic.

Later, Henco Billy told me that he saw my demeanor change as I started frantically texting and furtively looking around the dining hall. I was texting Pablo asking for 10 extra minutes to get back home, and searching for my server. I tracked her down, and with apologies, switched my ordered to take-out. I paid her cash, tipped her as if I had stayed for my meal (only seemed fair), and bolted for the door.

“Wait wait!,” came a voice,“Elliot wanted you to have pie.” The house gave me pie. I was the dick, I fucked-up, I wasted their time, and they gave me pie. Gosh, I love being me sometimes!

Anyhoo, I beat Pablo to my place by about 10 mins and literally stood over my take-out box, shoving steak, black-eyed peas, and mac salad in my face as fast as I could before the sandwiches arrived. I’m telling you what, by then I was fucking hungry. It was 2pm already, and I had not eaten a thing all day.

Fuck, that steak was goooood. Like, really good. Really really really fucking good. Even though it had been transported home in a box, and had suffered slightly as a result, it was still warm, and tender, and delicious, and slightly chewy (like it should be), with a goodly amount of delicious gravy. Holy fuck, it hit the spot. I was about ready to give up the ghost, and I think this steak may have saved my life.

As a Northerner, I ain’t eaten a lot of country fried steaks in my life. It’s just not a thing up there. In fact, I’d only had it one other time, at 5 Points Diner, and it was fucking horrible. That place fucking sucks. I don’t know what people see in it. Folks tell me things like “it’s a real diner,” or “it’s so authentic,” but that’s total BS. The food is crap, and the country fried steak they served me was something that I wouldn’t feed to a dog. Chef Elliot Moss’ country fried steak was fucking awesome though, and I would totally get it again. It’s the special of the day every Wednesday. The two sides I got were excellent as well.

So, I ate a few more bites of steak, and then hid all evidence of my first lunch from Pablo, who arrived shortly with my second lunch. Three super-tasty sandwiches! Yay! They were very good, and the bread was fan-fucking-tastic! Apparently his wife makes it from an old family recipe, and wow, really good bread. All of the ingredients in the three sandwiches were tasty and fresh, and of a high quality, so I recommend Fresh Lunch Delivery to anyone living or working downtown. Thanks, Pablo!

What is the point of my story? None. Just a random anecdote from my crazy food life, by way of an intro to the video and photos below. If there’s anything that I want you, the reader, to take away from my story it is this: The steak at Buxton is great, and so are the sandwiches from Fresh Lunch. Simple as a pimple.

In the video, Pablo explains a little bit about his company and their food (if you don’t see the player, you can check it out HERE) and below that, the photo gallery is from the last few days of mi vida comida, and depicts everything from a bench and a beehive being destroyed, to coffee beans being roasted, to pakoras, alfredo, nachos, an anniversary party, Smoky Park Supper Club, good friends, good times, double-donuts, and brunch with mom at Buffalo Nickel. What a great food week!

You can click on the thumbnails to view larger versions and if you have any questions about any of the food or venues depicted below, please use the comments section, and I will answer you if I can!

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CLICK ON THE THUMBNAILS TO VIEW LARGER VERSIONS

: Somebody put up a bee hive in a parking lot in my neighborhood!

: Two seconds later, a bear destroyed it.

: Here’s Master Roaster Bill Tanner from PennyCup Coffee Co.

: Just about every Saturday is “Raoasting Day” at PennyCup!

: From 10am – 3pm the public can come in and observe the roasting process.

: The aroma is fantastic and the coffee tastes amazing!

: The Kale Pakoras at Chai Pani are one of my fave dishes downtown.

: They look and taste great!

: They look and taste even better on Instagram!

: This smoky tomato alfredo from Foggy Mountain Brewpub may not look as fucking fantastic as it tasted, but wow, it was aweosme.

: My lunchmate at Foggy Mountain got the chicken ceasar. He said it was great.

: Cauliflower appetizer from Buxton Hall.

: This is one of the very few things I’ve had from Buxton that did not rock my world.

: I ate every scrap, but it wasn’t the bomb-titty-ass-bomb like most stuff at Buxton.

: 2-4-1 donut time at Vortex!

: Coffee, donuts, crossword puzzle. All CRUSHED.

: This is an old photo of the best bench in Asheville, located outside of PennyCup Coffee Co.

: Bench vs Car… car wins.

: This brave bench may have saved the building from serious damage! Drive safe out there, coffee drinkers!

: Dawn and I went to TacoBilly.

: I forgot to take pics of our tacos, but here’s the chips ‘n’ guac. Yum!

: Same picture on Instagram.

: Dawn and I also took a trip out to Dooglla Eeffoc in Weaverville, as recommended by the readers.

: The coffee was GREAT, and the coffee cake was good too! The owner, Eric was super nice. Thanks, All Good!

: Dawn looks like she’s plotting something evil, but we’re just havin’ fun at the Sovereign Remedies 1 year anniversary party. Yay!

: One of our fave people in town is Ben from Sov Rems. He’s always happy to strike a handsome pose for my camera!

: Here’s Charlie Hodge, Sov Rems owner.

: Here’s Farmer Sunil, who’s Sunday Dinners at Sov Rems are one of the best things in Asheville.

: Here I am with Good Friend Leslie!

: She thinks I’m funny. I like her.

: Who’s this guy?

: Why it’s freelance food writer, Jonathan Ammons!

: Yo, J-Dawg, Whazzahp?

: The lighting in Sov Rems is great for making out, but it sucks for picture taking, and I hate using my flash.

: I got Leslie to hold her camera light on the food for a second. These tasted fan-fucking-tastic BTW.

: The live music on the Sov Rems balcony was really great!

: I got coffee and pastries (1 to go!) at 67 Biltmore.

: Along with their other great food, they make yummy baked goods at 67 Biltmore!

: Good Friend Ursula came to Smoky Park Supper Club with me and Dawn.

: At Smoky Park there was a little lamp on our table. Fucking genius.

: Even though the atmosphere was pleasantly dim, the little lamp allowed me to take good pictures!

: Empanada.

: Hello!

: Smoky Park’s popcorn is a big win. Really tasty and good!

: That hairy catapillar is whipped marshmallow. These sides were tasty.

: Somewhere under all that delicious stuff is a delicious bratwurst.

: Good ol’ bread ‘n’ spread.

: This fire-roasted beet salad was very good!

: I saw my friend Rebekah at Bull and Beggar’s cheesburger night!

: The housemade sodas at Bull ‘n’ Begs are really good!

: Rebekah enjoyed her old fashion. I forgot to take pics of our food. ._.

: Here I am with Local Provisions’ Chef Justin Burdett. He says they’ll be open soon!

: Here I am with Fresh Lunch Delivery co-owner Pablo Gomez.

: Pablo brought me sandwiches!

: Healthy turkey.

: Roast Beef with shoe string taters.

: Avocado and brie BLT.

: All three sandwiches were effing great! Pablo’s wife makes the bread from an old family recipe. Yum!!!

: I’m working my way through the Buxton menu. Not much more to go! Then I can do repeats.

: Coffee at Buffalo Nickel.

: My mom got shrimp ‘n’ grits at Buff Nick’s brunch.

: I tasted it. It was fucking awesome.

: I got the fried chicken ‘n’ biscuits.

: It was really really fucking good! Chef Ryan crushes it at Buffalo Nickel.

– END –

Stu Helm is an artist, writer, and podcaster living in Asheville, NC, and a frequent diner at local restaurants, cafes, food trucks, and the like. His tastes run from hot dogs and mac ‘n’ cheese, to haute cuisine, and his opinions are based on a lifetime of eating out. He began writing about food strictly to amuse his friends on Facebook.