Waking Life: “The Hardest Thing…”

So, the other day I said to a friend of mine, “I’m not really focusing on the Waking Life story anymore, because it seems like those two idiots are finally just closing shop, and it looks like some very cool women might be taking over the space, so I’m just going to report on the positives, and not the negatives.”

Then I heard that Jared and Jacob had reopened, and were inviting the public in, to indulge in free coffee and pastries, and a “conversation…” Well, here’s their post from FaceBook…

Picture 96

Holy fucking shit. These guys are unbelievable.

Here is my response, which I left as a comment under their original post.

“Recent events?” Do you mean the 3 years of organized hate that you secretly adhered to and promoted in the community that you’re now pretending to love? Your “Red Pill” philosophy is one of lies and manipulation, that seeks to pit men against women in every aspect of human relations, from something as fun as casual sex, to something as important as having children. Red Pill has even been linked to mass murders, which I’m sure you were aware of, even as you continued tweeting and blogging its supposed virtues, using it as an excuse to prey on the women of Asheville, and podcasting Red Pill instructions to “teach” the men in OUR community how to be secretive, manipulating, women-haters like yourselves. You acted as a pair of vipers among us and now you seek redemption with a free cup of coffee and a chit-chat? You have shown nothing but a continued contempt for the people of this town, as you seek our forgiveness over and over, while never seeming to quite grasp exactly what you did. You are incredibly transparent and desperate, clutching on to your capitalist dreams of owning a coffee shop, while pretending to give a flying fuck about the people you hurt, and you’re so vain and narcissistic that you actually believe we’re going to fall for your flam-flam, again. You have laid such waste to your own integrity, by maliciously and furtively undermining the fabric of this community with your deception and betrayal, that trusting you is out of the question at this point. Who’s to say that right now, as you scheme your way back into the publics’ good graces (ie: pocket books) you aren’t saying to each other behind closed doors, “Half these women are so stupid, we just have to act sorry and they’ll forgive us.”  That’s a hypothetical quote. Here’s a real one “The hardest thing… is not hating women for how fucking stupid they can be.” Jared said that.

I’d like to take a moment to examine Jared’s quote more closely. It is, in it’s entirety:

“The hardest thing about game [sic] is not hating women for how fucking stupid they can be.”

That’s a thought that Jared had one day, which he decided to share with his “followers.” Here the word “game” refers to the Red Pill method of haranguing, manipulating, and coercing women into sex.

In this thought that Jared shared, he bemoans how difficult it is for him — it’s “the hardest thing” in fact — not to hate women.

One need only read Jared’s other public thoughts on women (originally posted anonymously, but made public on JaredandJacobSaid.com) to quickly realize that this fight — the fight not to hate women — was so hard for him, that he was eventually unable to do it. He hates women. Of that there can be little doubt

I base my conclusion that Jared hates women solely on his own words and tenor. He makes it clear over and over again, on his Twitter account, blog, and podcast that yes, he hates women. Or, “fuck socks” as he calls them.

Oh, brave Jared! He faced “the hardest thing,” but alas, he lost his battle. Through no fault of his own, of course!  I mean who can blame him? He didn’t want to hate women, but they made him do it, by being “so fucking stupid.”

To the women reading this article: I think you owe Jared an apology. He wanted, in his heart of hearts, to love you, but — because you “can be so fucking stupid” — he found “not hating” you to be “the hardest thing,” and eventually he had to give in, give up, and fill his heart with hatred for you.

Mean, mean, wicked women.

Jared’s statement is typical of any member of any hate group from contemporary culture, or all of human history. His struggle not to hate women, despite “how fucking stupid they can be,” is akin to the German national in 1940 who found it impossible not to hate Jews because they are so fucking…  you fill in the blank… or the modern day KKK member who might not want to hate black people, but finds them to be so fucking.... that they make “not hating” them “the hardest thing.”

Haters always want to blame the object of their hate for the hate they feel in their own hearts. They look outwardly, toward others, to explain their inner feelings, and seek a scapegoat at whose feet they would lay blame for their own negative thoughts and damaged souls.

“He’s a good guy,” a skin-head‘s neighbor might say, “He just hates Mexicans because they come over here and steal our jobs.”

No. My hypothetical skin-head hates Mexicans because he’s a fucked-up creep who needs some deep self-reflection, and therapy, but may in fact have sociopathic tendencies that make it impossible for him to feel actual empathy for others.

The same can be said for my KKK guy and the German National turned Nazi, and I think it can be said about Jacob and Jared too. They are not good people who can’t help but hate the bad people. They are fucked-up creeps who need deep self reflection, and therapy, but may in fact have sociopathic tendencies that make it impossible for them to feel actual empathy for others.

Their cynical and thinly veiled attempts to re-start their coffee shop, with promises of free pastry and a “safe place” are disgusting to me, and seem to support a theory of sociopathy. Can’t they see how painful it is for the people they effected to see them “at the shop?” How unbelievably contemptuous it is to presume that they could, in any scenario, “provide” a “safe” place?

A safe place?!? That blows my fucking mind. THEY make any space they occupy UNSAFE!

Who’s to say they aren’t just pretending to be nice again, while they secretly conspire and continue spreading their hateful thoughts anonymously on the Internet? Where are the cameras hidden? What’s the URL? What’s your new Twitter handle, Jared? These guys kinda sorta have a history of mass deception, perpetrated against the very people they now offer a “safe” place to.

Knowing as we do, that for Jared at least “the hardest thing… Is not hating women for how fucking stupid they can be,” we should keep in mind that if he thinks we’re all so stupid that we will forgive three years of duplicity and secrecy, spreading Red Pill poison among us, in exchange for a free cup of coffee and a croissant, the poor dear will find it impossible to not to hate us all!

As long as these two douchebags insist on being in the public eye, I’m going to insist on bringing up the fact that they were ring-leaders in a hate group that sought to prey on the women and convert the men in our town.

-Stu Helm


IMG_0273Stu Helm is an artist, writer, and podcaster living in Asheville, NC, and a frequent diner at local restaurants, cafes, food trucks, and the like. His tastes run from hot dogs and mac ‘n’ cheese, to haute cuisine, and his opinions are based on a lifetime of eating out. He began writing about food strictly to amuse his friends on Facebook. 


External links:

AVL FOOD FANS w/ Stu Helm and Chef Joe Scully

STU HELM: FOOD FAN [FaceBook Page]

STU HELM on Instagram

STU HELM on Twitter

7 thoughts on “Waking Life: “The Hardest Thing…”

  1. Well said. I’ve been saying that Jared comes across as a narcissistic sociopath from the beginning, and it’s reassuring to see someone else use the same words. These two need to give it up, seek serious psychotherapy, and take something other than a “red pill.”


  2. Stu, luckily my friend Leslie shared your article. It is wonderful! and I agree, after many years of victimizing women, blogging about it – and if nothing else, even a racist, a woman hater, a member of any of the so called men’s(old white men, usually) movements would have been much smarter – first mistake – opening shop in Asheville. Biggest mistake – not trying to become more enlightened, less neanderthal, troglodyte cowards – but instead maybe investing some time into group therapy, private therapy and some women’s studies.. that will likely never happen, and you are right, a cup of coffee and pastry cannot undo all the harm they have done. My only hope is that when they do wind up selling the shop and possibly the roaster – because after all, most towns and cities that give a crap about local, clean food and things like roasted in small batches – live in cities like NY, LA, Asheville, Portland, Chicago – and all the wonderful art enclaves in almost every state – heck, even Texas has Austin – but they won’t’ fit in any of these places. I was just hoping this story would have gotten SOME national attention – so any place they do move to will be forwarned. I hope the place and the roaster are sole9they really ought to donate them, that would mean something.. but that would never happen).. go to almost any other Asheville resident or potential residents that are enlightened, aware and evolved enough for the area, fortunately, that is a good bet.
    And PS no offense to my old white men friends, most of you do not fall into this category – but these two younger men might as well retire – they fit in with that segment of the populace!


  3. Pingback: What Asheville Reveals About Rape Culture - The Feminist Wire | The Feminist Wire

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